they went in the woods. they walked and walked, slowly making progress through the undergrowth, until they found a bear skeleton. the muzzle was long, like a dog's muzzle. Simon gnawed the excess material off the bones, like the gristle and miscellaneous sinews and such. He then asked Dink Stephens to put the bones in his butt, for his anal pleasure.
Dink relented, thinking the act too intimate a thing to do for his friend. So Simon went to work on it himself, hiding the carcass as if in a foot locker(his behind), but part-way through he started complaining of fever and fatigue. He forced Dink to light a fire, though it was a windless 89 Farenheits in the wood that day.
With the fire lighted, Simon fell into a partial-dozing state. In a vision shared by both men, Simon's spirit animal came out and danced above the fire. That was Wallace the Squirrel. Simon started fidgeting, rolling this way and that. You could hear the bones crunching inside of him! Finally his eyelids parted, he staggered away from the fire and evacuated his bowels.
Then he was okay. By taking a dook.
Next time, maybe I'll tell you about Johnny Cake's queen-size whalebone canopy bed that he made after a trip to Kill Devil Hills, NC.