You can't deny yourself love. That would be repression. Which brings its own symptoms.
Love is of the soul, and not the rationing mind.
Some boil love down to a neuro-chemical chain of reactions. Some, in the hard world of modern life, boil what they call love down to a series transactions, like gifts car payments or apartment rent, or candy or flowers, or meals or alcohol drinks, taking out the trash, cooking a meal or the like.
It is an expression of the soul and to stand in its way is repression. As stated above, repression will cause all sorts of havoc in a life that was once normal.
Love is then defined at first by what could be, then in hindsight, with the ultimate end of the whole mess dictating the definition in its entirety. A man martyred his wife by killing himself, making her the victim because she faced the consequences alone in his absence. He did not martyr himself, but rather shirked societal responsibility. Or an old couple, married over fifty years, would define their relationship by the accumulation of years and probably not even recognize their own estimates of the relationship from earlier, in the beginning.
I was reading that the soul is a mystery to us, though it speaks clearly through our biology. It is like water, flowing water, with a mysterious quality to its depth and a fluid passivity, but yet has a certain strength, force and/or mass that can press us. It is then a force that acts upon the neurological controls and the thoughts and the mere instincts.
Hard to grasp, is the soul, just like water flowing quietly along in a stream.