Thursday, May 26, 2016

Movie idea: The Moses of Sex Offenders.

Can you ream the comedy out of any situation, oh jaded internet user?

Picture it: roaches crawling across a sinkful of dirty dishes.  Pizza boxes and socks on the floor.  Vince Vaughn dating your mother with the worst of intentions.  You know he is going to hit and quit it, breaking her heart forever, making her a resident at your house until one of you dies.

He rides by the school everyday in his 70's toyota with the steel rims, looking at the girls, but lacking the nerve to act.  We never consider what evil goes through their minds that they DONT act on.  It is to be wondered as an academic concern, what sexual activity is too gross for one of those sex offenders? Perhaps those depths shall be plumbed, bob.

You could even go back to Lolita, where the boy has a botched sexual experience at a young age, which ruins his sexuality, forever making him attracted to 12yr olds.

He is the modern sexual polyglot.  Mutual masturbation with a bored housewife, and other such sporting activities.  The mutual masturbation happens because they dont want to touch, for in their compartmentalized world, they want a little truffle of a sexual experience, while being too afraid to kiss a stranger for fear of disease.

The big finish: he gets smushed through a storm drain, going into the sewer, floating down a river of rainwater and shit.  He hits a grating, stopping his progress, and the water begins to rise.  We see the dirty water rise over his widened eyes.  Then he is gone, and there is only rushing water filth.

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