I wasn't far removed. The young man without a future, standing on pine needles and bone-white topsoil, pining among the pines with a beverage near my lips. Meanwhile, outside, things churned, people changed and the world rotated on its axis.
Does it matter?
I wasn't far removed.
You are number six.
But you must understand the severity of the situation: I could imagine no future. For me, the future was darkness-a blank darkness. This was so for a long time.
Lonely rivers flow, to the sea, to the sea!
Eventually I found myself surrounded by people who were trying to pull pieces of me away, for their own use. Needless to say, I did not like how the world reacted to me. In turn, I was lead to hate even myself, as much as I began to hate and/or mistrust the rest of the world. So in my own world, I cancelled my future, until I had time to go back to the old drawing board to come up with something new and appropriate for the changes I had undergone.
And time can do so much....
I let go. I was quite upset, filled with dread, and in a schizoid moment I proclaimed I knew how to stop the terrorists. I was wrong. It was a crazy shot from left field, when I had thought much too deeply about the matter for too long a time, thusly making the whole idea seem highly improbable now. As evidence, there have been small terrorist attacks, but to my credit I was talking about organized terror attacks on the scale of 9/11. Maybe I was right or wrong. The point is moot. A piece of my soul broke and I gave up. Part of my soul died, leaving a bloody wound somewhere inside, and I remember walking around my hometown all the next day with that wound.
2009: I was then very far removed.
2005: I had a Mountain Dew. I screamed. Everyone heard, but no one reacted. Like stone faces in a gallery. The day went on, the same as ever. I looked at the oaks and the freshly-mowed grass in my yard. It was so staid.
Made me want to yell more, did it-the quietness of the scene.