Wednesday, January 21, 2015

the secret lives of shoes

Shoes tell stories about people, accompanying the wearer on adventures, then sitting idly by under a bed or in a closet.  As a boy, I wore athletic shoes, because I went about as a boy.  When I grew into young adulthood, I wore biker boots-something solid, substantial, seeming to help hold me to the earth.  I needed the stability.  Maybe I needed something to toughen my image, too(just between you and me).  And on my favorite style, there was a leather-held shackle.  That said something about the young man with the easy smile, crazy eyes, equally insane laugh, nebulous personality, that bundle of raw nerves.  That or I enjoyed getting tied-up.  Delicious pain, delicious waiting, one-way ticket Mister Grey.  The roaches check in but they don't check out.  No.  As a young working man, I wore cheap work boots, mid-top and as an automotive technician I upgraded to steel toes, still mid-top, relatively lightweight, for ease of movement.  I frequently wore the tread off of them, making the non-slip, carbunkled surface smooth.  Now, as a man approaching middle age, I wear five dollar sneakers.  What happened to me?  Do I not care anymore?  Do I sympathize with the Chinese workers that made my shoes?  When I wear my permapress pants and cheap shoes, am I being some kind of communist?  Or cloaking myself as some kind of bargain-bin everyman.  Maybe I'm no longer here to impress anyone.  *And I'm not above begging that Sharpton and company don't ruin the oscars.  Did you catch my tone there?  Please, don't, I said.

Friday, January 16, 2015

dont let sharpton bring tokenism to oscars

please. Like the oscars isnt a popularity contest, anyhow. Reverend
al sharpton will bring tokenism, if u let him. He will reward people
based on the color of their skin, instead of merit(like how he got a
show on msnbc, maybe). Keep that out please. Let the oscars brown
naturally, on their own. And dear god, please dont give tyler perry
an oscar unless he does something worthy...

Friday, January 2, 2015

futnuckery classics: giving clint attitude

ive been less than glowing about eastwood. Heartbreak ridge is one of
those guy movies that sits beside roadhouse in a lot of movie
collections. Guys stick to it because it sucks. But, I come here not
to throw dirt on clint, but to give praise. Is this that long-awaited
review of gran torino? Not entirely. Ill use it as an example of
clint being more nuanced than we've seen, and ugly(even he says so).
He's worked with the best, and learned. Dont doubt him, even when he
gets weepy, because you cant be a tough guy all the time; you got to
show that soft belly sometime. The man is a giant, and one for the
record books-a perennial favorite on cable tv. Hail clint! And 8/10
stars for gran torino, if you care.

2015: this the year, yaw!

What can i promise this year but more of me? I continue to embrace my
nature; yet my nature evolves, mutates, matures, coagulates against my
leg. I will continue this blog, and i will continue to think of new
features, working in a longer format. I want a certain breadth of
self expression, if you feel me. Together, we are building a better
mike, and thats something i know you can appreciate.