Thursday, May 30, 2013

hah hah!

By coincidence, chance and neither with intent nor design, i nearly
accomplished two of my life's goals a few days ago. Should i weep,
having been so close to something beautiful, or should i rejoice that
it happened at all? I laugh heartily! This stagnant pool we call
life! I should dig up walt whitman and make him the guest of honor at
a celebratory cook-out!

Monday, May 27, 2013

(a brief editorial jotting, 5/27/13)

I feel like i need to apologize to someone, but since i dont care, i
suppose i wont. As im horrified by the vulgarity of television, so
too am i horrified by such in my own creative output. This culminated
with an unwritten joke featuring nancy pelosi, the cookie monster, and
a frozen gargoyle. There are standards of decency that i wont cross,
usually long after everyone else has puked and cried for their souls.
There but for the grace of God.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

motormouth: vacation '73

"so there i was, in vegas with a whole week's pay. Soon, i'd had too
many drinks and got my hand smashed by mob goons because i won 12k at
blackjack. They took my money, too, so i wouldnt be welcome at the
sporting houses, which made my damaged hand all the more unfortunate,
because i liked to use both hands, like a big production, with
pinching and teasing. I'd even surprise myself sometimes, lying in
the dark, saying to myself "what's that?" or "that was most
unexpected. More please."

motormouth, a veritable variable

"I had a coffee farm one time. It was good. I lunched on soup with
my migrants, and their wives knitted me things, like leggings which i
would tuck under my workshirt and stretch over the tops of my
boots(because of the pythons; first it was rabbits, then came the
pythons to eat the rabbits). I didn't get indecent with them often,
only with those with dull, vacant stares, because that sort of thing
'puts lead in my pencil' better than any wonder drug ever could."

Friday, May 24, 2013

my heart of darkness

(relax your muscles. Itll make this feel better.) "dear diary: its
been a long discouraging winter. Had to cut off several unnecessary
body parts and eat them. Unfortuantely, dont know yet how best to
season them. Almost fell in love with myself again. No bigger waste
of time and effort, be assured. Look forward to limping into the
sunlight, supported by remaining superfluous appendages."

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Popular people.(part one)

Danica and her popularity: somewhat nice, has a private life, talented, modest, and seemingly a hard worker. Role model? Type A female. Beyond that I say, I drive a Fiat by day, but I dream about that Ferrari every night.

Monday, May 20, 2013

conspiracy: they're all around you.

At times, it becomes a great puzzle as to how i should conduct myself
around people that dont like me. Should i poke them through the bars
of their cages with a mop handle? Should i be mr. Friendly? Shower
them with kisses? Wash their feet in oil? Other things that would
make a decent girl vomit? I'll be both a crazy and stupid bastard for
all my days, but it amuses me to think of myself repulsing others. So
maybe i'd suck tongue with someone i hate-maybe sneezing in their
mouth. But to kill with kindness? No sir. I fancy myself as a
junkyard dog-and this is my yard.

Friday, May 17, 2013

note 5.17.13

me and my memory: a small oaf gazing into a pond. Look, on the
brackish water-it's me!(vonnegut: "That was i. That was me") There
is also all the things i bring with me, and the sunlight, the trees,
and beneath are the little microorganisms that make the pondwater
taste good, and make it soft on the skin when i wash myself(i do
that). Sometimes it makes the bathroom hurt(enough of that, now).
The things i bring with me: vignettes with a touch of impressionism.
There are no ugly women, no evil people, no uncomfortable sweating, no
sleepless nights, and the milk is always fresh. Never am i next to
falling to pieces from the innertension. Me and my memory: a man as
content as a child squashing kittens with a hammer.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

love: that stray toenail in the bed sheets

her beauty: why, i need two of her/in case i break one/her smile: like
a frightened, wounded animal/120 lbs. of stupid in a bag of
coarse-woven manhatred/don't know why some want to grab hold of things
disliked/i was the only one/who shewed an interest in her/no one
better wanted her, maybe/tell her you love her then she'll never
leave(dammit)/every loser has a match, some say/don't like to be
reminded of my mistakes/what bliss-all my faults, explained/in one
angry sitting/can she dodge a lamp?/thinking "i shouldnta showed her
where i live"/if i cause amnesia on her/can i pretend she's someone